Old semiconductor jokes ( but it is true though)

You know you work in Semiconductor Industry if.......

*You work with people paid $10 per hour who run boxes of stuff each worth $100,000 through machines costing $2,000,000 in a factory costing $2,000,000,000.

*You work massive amounts of overtime until the layoffs start.

*After work, you go to the grocery store and people stare at the lines worn into your forehead.

*Local bars open at 7:00 AM for night shift employees and no one says a word about drinking before noon.

*You change companies and end up with your bosses boss being a guy who used to be your night shift technician.

*You recognize people by their eyes but don't know who they are in street clothes.

*All your best work is done under yellow light.

*The Enemy is sodium and particulate.

*You have been assigned to be on at least 3 cross-functional teams in the past year.

*You are taught to use various Japanese techniques with names that sound like trash-can noises to determine that if there is too much work in your area, to notify the people in other areas that yours is full.

*You have to cut costs because whatever you are making now will sell for 50% less within the year.

*Department meetings look like the United Nations, and small splinter meetings in some obscure Chinese dialect often develop.

*You think vendors are some alternate, lower life form.

*Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

*Someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

*You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

*You learn about your layoff on CNN.

*Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

*You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

*Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets.

*It's dark when you drive to and from work.

*Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

*You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.

*Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.

*Art involves a white board.

*You're already late on the assignment you just got.

*You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!".

*All real work gets started after 5pm or on weekends.

*Everyone fights fires (i.e. problems).

*Dilbert cartoons hang inside every cube.

*Plants in your cube are healthier than your plants at home.

*Your boss's favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in yourspare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."

*For 10% of the people you work with, no one (boss included) knows what they do or what you do.

*You have scumming, but a shower won't help.

*You complain that the strippers aren't doing their job and someone actually listens.

*There are regular conversations about having SECS with a Lam.

*The terms "smashed, missing, and deformed balls" are said with a straight face in interaction meetings.

*You are told that there is no danger from the chemicals you work with, but the person telling you can't pronounce all of their names.

*They also ask you to wear radiation monitor badges, and donate hair clippings 'just in case'.

*If you sputter, it does not mean you have a speech disorder.

*Vacation is something you rollover to next year or a check you get every January.

*Change is the norm.

*Scrapping $10,000 worth of product is a good day.

*You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

*Moving targets are employees, goals, and budgets.

*You read this list and understand.